Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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