sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
