I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
