I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
