My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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