you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
