I can't watch pbs sober anymore
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
