You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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