he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
