her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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