just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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