Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
