I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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