my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize