Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize