I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
