idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
