So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
