There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
