I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
