you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Success! We fucked roommates!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize