You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
