there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
