there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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