She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
