I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
