Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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