i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
