its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
