Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
