the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
