love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
