So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
