Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
