Someone shit on the floor
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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