This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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