sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
