If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
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Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
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Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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