i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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