i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
