Fine. I'll sleep in my office
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize