just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
this just has baby written all over it
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
