dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
