We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
