Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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