just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
