How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
