and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The power of my boobs compel you
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
