I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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