The maid of honor just puked.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
