I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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