It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
