I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
