Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
