So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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