i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
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He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
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My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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