help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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