i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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