sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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