so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
there's paper in my vomit.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
