At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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