Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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